It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
