I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
