obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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