Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
