she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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