You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
