Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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