Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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