I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
