Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
