bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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