why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
This house was built for laser tag.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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