He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
