this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
