He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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