walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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