When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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