i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the gays at disneyland are vicious
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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