Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
PANTIES FOUND
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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