How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
