and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
