My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
