This girl is more easily done than said...
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
