Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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