Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize