so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
