she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
