Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize