mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize