Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.