Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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