NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"