i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
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No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
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He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone