Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered