he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
