2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize