You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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