i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
