oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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