Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm experimenting with sincerity
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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