whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
