You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
