his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
