.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
