Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
