Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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