Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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