Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
