I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
