it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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