I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
