i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
