I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
She's JV to your varsity
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
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