he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
