Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
