I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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