I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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