eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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