Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
