im drinking this country out of the recession.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I understand Curling. That high.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
