Ambien. No doubt about it.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
