dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
