u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
