trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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