Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize